From English to German

Euro-English

The European Union (EU) has just announced

an agreement whereby English will be the
official language of the EU rather than German,
which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British
Government conceded that English spelling had
some room for improvement and has accepted a
5-year phase-in plan that would become known as
"Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump
with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k".
This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan
have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be
replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double
letters, which have always ben a deterent to
akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the
silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it
should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps
such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be
dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz
fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and
evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking
German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.